Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Vol 8 - Don't have a cow man! (03/05/2006)

Well is been a bit crazy with the cow situation. They have been getting into the lake and trodding all over the place and messing it up. I wasn't happy about that. But now they're getting into the house yard so that they can get to the hay and make a mess of it.

About a week ago now I'd stayed up late, about 3am, working on my websites. "No problem," I thought "I can sleep in tomorrow". But around 7am I hear mooing outside my window. It's the fucking cows again. "Get fucked you fucking cows", I yelled. "Moo", was the response of the cows.

I looked outside the window. It was cold and frosty, there was a blanket of fog covering the lawn. "I'll just sleep through it and deal with it when I'm more awake and it's a bit warmer", I thought. "Moo", said the cow outside my window. It was then I realised I wasn't going to go back to sleep.

So I got up wrapped a towel around myself and opened the front door. A cow was walking around on my front porch. I whipped off the towel and flicked it at the cow. I missed. It walked three steps forward onto the lawn and said, "Moo". It was then I realised I needed to get dressed, get in the ute, and chase the bloody cows.

Now there were some cows in the lake area, and some around the house, and a fence with a hole it in between the two. I decided to open a gate and chase them all through it. But some decided to stay in the lake area, some stayed on the house side and another 3 found a gate into a whole new paddock all together. At one point I was sprinting along behind a calf, with a big stick saying, "Not that way you stupid fucking, fuck". I fell short of saying Dad's catchphrase "Why does God hate me?" But I was very frustrated.

Eventually I got them all back in the right paddock and they've been reasonably well behaved ever since. For some reason I think they are scared of me. The real problem is that now when I go out at night in the dark to get more firewood I don't just have to worry about the boogey man. I need to concern myself that I don't step in something unmentionable.

My Dad's currently in Bundaberg picking up his ultralight aircraft. It's a Jabiru J160. He's very excited about it. I think he expects me to be excited too. How can I be excited about him spending $76,000 of my inheritance on a stupid toy? Just kidding it's great that he's got a hobby and is starting to relax a bit.

I'm off tomorrow to check out Cairns. Leaving Thursday morning I expect to get there Monday night. So it's quite a drive. This is just a recon mission I'll be up there for a week or two. If it's a real shithole, as some people have told me, then I may have to rethink moving up there permanently. But it's 27 deg. C up there whereas here it's only 15 deg. C. So it's worth a look.


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