Vol 7 - My Trip to Canberra (21/04/2006)
I went to Canberra for two reasons, to catch up with old friends, and to see Nikki again. The first week I spent with Nikki and her 2 sisters, her parents were in Singapore. Nikki lives in Tuggeranong. For those of you not familiar with Canberra, Tuggeranong is to Canberra as the Hutt Valley is to Wellington, Scunthorpe is to the UK and Romania is to Eastern Europe.
I found out a few things about the family. Her youngest sister, only 19, once appeared on a website. I don’t know the name but it’s something like HiddenCamSpaGirls.com. She was filmed while having sex in the spa out the back of her parents house. It was uploaded to the web. She got annoyed and had the film taken down but she is happy to know that a photo of her breasts remain on the site.
Nikki's other sister, 21, had some of her drugo mates come around for a BBQ. One guy (let’s call him Steve) had to drive off drunk to go and protect his mum from being bashed by her boyfriend. Another guy (let’s call him Dave) thought he shouldn’t make such a scene, when Dave’s mum got bashed by her boyfriend he just went home and dealt with it and didn’t go on about it so much. During the night my car got egged. At first I was offended but I then realized that they weren’t aiming it at me, it was actually some ex-friends of the sister who were annoyed with her for sleeping with their boyfriends. Apparently I’m lucky it wasn’t a brick, because a brick has been thrown through a bedroom window before.
At some point Nikki and I realized we didn’t have much in common and since I planned to move to Cairns, adding even more distance to the trip, we decided to call it quits. So the next two weeks I spent with a friend called Andrew. It was lucky timing because he was spending some time off work to do projects around the house. For two weeks I shoveled woodchips, carried bricks, chainsawed, plastered and painted. We averaged 4 trips to Bunnings Warehouse (a mega hardware store) a day. It was a great way to take my mind of Nikki issues, and gave Andrew some mediocre slave labour for a couple of weeks.
I also caught up with some friends at the work bar of the ABS and the Labor Club. What sweet memories, and what even sweeter prices. The work bar had James Boag Premium at almost cost price.
I then went to Bethanga for Easter to meet up with Adam Dyde. The guy I met at Uni and who named me Chickenhouse. This looks to be an ongoing family tradition as his little 3 year old daughter Finley also calls me Chickenhouse. She and her friends woke me up every morning about 7am. But she came up with some tricks to help me sleep. She gave me her Elmo doll and a Mr Men book. I would have been more happy if she just kept quiet.
Bethanga is a great place to be during Easter. It’s not just famous for the chemical residue leaking into the creek from the old mining days, it also has a Gymkhana. For those not familiar with a Gymkhana it’s where the whole town gets together and drinks beer. They justify this by getting a bunch of horse people in who ride about on horses and do jumps etc. But not many people take notice of them.
What they do take notice of is the dog jumping. It’s like a highjump competition for dogs. Actually it IS a highjump competition for dogs. Unfortunately on the day the crowd favourite was outclassed by an Australian record holding fancy pants show off dog. I think they should be given their own category next year. There was also a guess the weight of the sheep competition. I rang dad to see if he could guess the weight. But I mustn’t have described it too well. He guessed 43kg and it was actually 63kg. But I have some handy skills now in case I’m ever required to guess the weight of livestock.
Adam now has a great little 50cc motorbike that was given to him by his mate Burnsy. It was one of the highlights of the Easter weekend. It was very popular with the kids who just couldn't wait to go for a ride. As you can see little Burnsy (29yo) just couldn't stop having a play.
Adam works for the local council and a part of remit is the local Fire Safety Officer. As Peter Parker knows with great power comes great responsibility, and no one is more responsible than Adam Dyde. For this very reason he decided to get a fire permit before burning a huge stack of wood and pine nettles in his front yard on a total fire ban day. As fire safety officer this permit was quite easy to come by, and allowed “Captain” Adam Dyde to burn everything, anywhere. But his gung-ho attitude soon turns to cowardice as the fire took hold. Realizing there was no going back he sent Chickenhouse off down the hill to make sure properties were not under "ember attack".
You’d think with all this extra activity I’d be looking trim and terrific, but no. I spent a lot of time at KFC and Red Rooster. I also had a lot of bacon, sausages, and meat in general. Not to mention all the beer. I am now the fattest I’ve ever been, cracking the 100kg mark. I realized at this rate I’ll be bigger than Adro on “the biggest loser” before the show ends, so I’m utilizing the expert advice of www.dailydiettracker.com
Who knows by the time I get to Cairns I might be able to have a swim without sending shock waves.
Chickenhouse signing off